Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Common Mistakes Couples Make in a Relationship

Being in a committed relationship comes with its share of highs and lows. Even in a marriage, everything begins on a happy note but as the couple prepares for a new life, they are weighed down by societal pressures and not to mention, personal differences. Of course, there are no perfect relationships.

Our happiness in life doesn't depend entirely on having a close relationship, but it is definitely enhanced by having bonds that are both healthy and close. If it seems as though yours aren't working as well as you'd like them to, it's possible that with some minor adjustments you can get things back on track.

However, here are 10 common mistakes couples make that you'd much rather avoid.

Losing Control

If you want to sustain the relationship further or for the lifetime, be in control of yourself. Many people lose control easily, especially with the life partner. Marriage or mutual agreement of getting into relationship is not a license to express as you feel it. Losing control is a sign of considering the partner less important or inferior. Frequent act of losing control in conversations or actions may irritate the partner and lessen the intensity of the romance between two.

Lack of Communication

Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind or each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other feelings one holds for the other. Many people get into ill communication with partners and as a result the relationship may become less intense. It is common that people complaining of lack of conversation between the couples.
Talking to each other boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. It is helpful to communicate what a person needs from the other and what is expected. Lack of communication or ill communication is equally destructive elements in a relationship. Your communication style should be one that gives enough respect to the listener.

No Overnight Arguments

Do not take your arguments to the next day and be always vigilant to put an end to the arguments before you go to bed. Many people get into unwanted arguments and continue with the same topic when they get up the next day. In a relationship, arguments should not be considered as a sign of dignity or status. Even if you feel that you are right and the other person is absolutely wrong, when the other person doesn't give up, you can be silent for the sake of peaceful living and happy relationship.

Denial of Sex

Sex is inevitable in relationships especially in marriage. Do not consider sex as your favor to the partner and never deny it as a resistance or protest to him/her. When a partner is denied with sex, he/she may feel hurt and may feel less interested in the relationship. Better you can solve all the issues by proper communication before you get into the bed and start anew with satisfying sexual activities. When somebody protests by denying the sex to him/her, the person may look for the sexual satisfaction in some other person and the relationship may suffer a breakup.

Lack of Romance and Commitment

Many relationships suffer from lack of romance and commitment. People in relationship should not hold back the expressions of romance to the other person. At no situations, romance is improper in marriage. In fact romance is the most obvious expression of affection and love in a relationship. Being committed to the partner is equally important to expressing romance. Unfaithful partners are the most common reason behind divorce and breakups. If you want the relationship to go proceed happily, then be committed to the partner and always maintain the trust with him/her.

Keeping Secrets From the Partner

Keeping secrets from the partner is a mistake many people commit in relationships. Secrets and unrevealed realms in life may make the partners feel poles apart and unattached. Never keep secrets from the partner and importantly, even if you keep secrets, you partner should not come to know that you keep secrets from him/her.
Fight your way out
 Fights are healthy for any relationship but how far you would go is the question. If you are trying to prove your point through constant outbursts, then you have had it. Remember it also affects your child’s upbringing in some way or the other.

Constantly questioning your relationship.

Do you sit around wondering whether you and your partner will still be together next week, next month, or next year? Are you afraid to jinx your relationship by doing or thinking the wrong thing? Do you take signs of preoccupation expressed by your partner as evidence of his or her disinterest in you? As I discussed above, it’s good to take your partner for granted somewhat. However, this is a slightly different twist on that point. Questioning your relationship means that you doubt it will last, and therefore may be less likely to feel comfortable about commitments you make about the future. If you’re always looking for a “Plan B,” your partner may sense this and the relationship's future demise could then become a likely prospect.

Not taking your partner seriously enough.

When you think about the important people and aspects to your life, what rank would you give your partner? Do your children come first? How about your work buddies or your job in general? It may be very logical and understandable to put your children first, for example, because depending on their age and stage in life, they need you. There are also different qualities to our romantic relationship compared to our relationships with children or other family members (parents, siblings, and so on). In reality, there’s no need to decide who’s more important. By playing this thought experiment, though, you can gain insight into where your partner fits into your overall life goals. If there’s a huge mental gap between your kids, job, friends, or other people and involvements, it’s likely your partner experiences this undervaluing. Again, looking toward those behavioral signs, if you’re at a social gathering, see if you drop your partner in favor of others, leaving at the end of the evening without having exchanged more than a word or two. Even if your partner doesn’t admit to feeling snubbed, this lack of attentiveness will be experienced as rejection and over time, detract from your partner’s feelings toward you.

Giving up on your partner.
Everyone goes through challenges, whether it’s losing a job, suffering from health problems, or dealing with an addiction. It’s at those difficult times that your partner needs your good cheer and support, but it’s also at those times when you may be feeling the most stressed. Without having to cover up your concern and feign a Pollyana-ish optimism, it’s more important than ever at those times that you hang in there and allow your partner to feel that he or she will come out of this trying time. Your confidence and support not only will can help ease your partner’s pain, but may be just what’s needed to help your partner summon up the resources to overcome the challenge.

There are many factors that go into building long-term relationships to ensure that they remain long-term. Avoiding these common 10 traps are a great way to start keeping yours healthy for years into the future.