8 ways To Heal A Broken Heart

HEARTBREAKS HURT, and there's no denying it. Everyone will find a different way to get over it, but we all find being dumped or losing a loved
one very hard. Easier for some people, but harder for others.

Here are some ways to overcome heartbreak:

Steps (1)Don't be embarrassed to cry.You've been hurt - expect the tears to keep coming. There are few people who can get over heartbreak without shedding tears, so let them flow. If you bottle up your feelings, you'll only end up making yourself feel worse later. Let everything loose and don't hold anything back.


(2)Find something to help take your mind off your heartbreak for a while, the feeling will pass with time.Activities you enjoy will help you relax.


(3)Talk to your friends and family. That's what they're there for! A good friend you trust will be a good person to talk to. A parent or sibling may also be a good choice.


(4)Focus on moving on.Focus for a while on your career and family. If you help someone else out, you'll feel good, and have a chance to take your mind off the pain. Good times are a great way to help you get over heartbreak. Keep on going with your day and focus on your work.


(5)Keep it in perspective! Think about the positive things in your life, and what you have left. Think about what you can do with your future, and don't let your loss destroy the rest of your life too. Letting the feeling overcome you will lead you down a road that isn't too pleasant.


(6)Rebuild your life.Get engrossed in new things, and try not to look back on the past. The more you move forward, the less it will hurt. Keep yourself occupied, so you don't have time to be upset. Keep moving forward..


(7)Talk to a professional.You may need to see a psychologist or other such professional person if your grief is really destroying your life. A professional will care and will know how to help you. They can almost certainly offer further and better advice.


(8)Accept it.You might never quite be happy about the event that caused your heartbreak, and you might always shed a tear thinking about it, but eventually you will find that you can live without it getting in the way. Just remember that every relationship is a learning experience, and every learning experience will positively effect your future. Time heals all wounds. .
 Part B of this same article will be publish later..still writing on it...hope you enjoy it nd might help heal your broken heart

LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TOBREAK-UP PT. 2

...Continuation from PT. 1

6. FLIRTING: Flirting might be fun, and might seem not strong enough to disolve a relationship. the truth is, it can if your partner doesn't find it funny!

7. TOO DEMANDING: You want this, you want that, you want all...take a chill pill please, relax and be easy on your partner because he/
she would definitely get tired of you someday.

8. UNGENEROUS: As a guy if you are the stingy type, and have never cared about your Girlfriend's finance, neither have you bought her any gifts, then i feel sorry for you.

NOTE:when i said gifts, i did not mean a house or a car please. This is meant fo the working class and not for lovers still searching for daily breads to make ends meet.

9. ARROGANCE: When you are too arrogant, too violent, too pushy, too insultive, always engaging in one fight or the other, your relationship won't stand the test of time. This is a big turn-off!

10. DISRESPECT: We all know the sayin "respect is reciprocal." When you disespect your partner not once but often, you will just hasten the break-up of your relationship. Respect your partner's decision always. This works both ways!

LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP PT. 1

There are a few things that we over look or don't take note or ignore in our various relationships which can terminate your relationship. See The Little Things That Leads To Break-up In Relationships.

1. LOVING THE PERSON TOO MUCH/CHOKING YOUR PARTNER WITH LOVE: No matter how in-love you both might be, the moment one is choking the other with too much love, it fizzles out the love of the other partner leading his/her love to depreciate. Try to always make it balance or else you just might scare your partner away.

2. DESPERATION: When you show signs of desperation in your relationship, like trying to trap the person to yourself through pregnancy or marriage, it scares the hell out of most people, especially if your partner is not ready to be hooked up or where the relationship is still at it's early stage. Don't talk about marriage except if you are both desperate about it.

3. IMMATURITY: No girl wants a kid as a boyfriend or someone who talks and does things like a kid! No no no no... she will definitely dump you! (vice versa)

4. MODE OF DRESSING: If your mode of dressing is really horrible, please do something about it fast! No girl wants her man to look like a mad man. Dress like a gentleman. (vice versa)

5. HYGIENE: Long/Dirty finger nails and toes also leads to break-ups in relationships. Bad breaths, body odour also terminates a relationship.

SOURCE: Nigerian's number one relationship blog LUV-KINGS

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Major Reasons why women breakup with men

Breakups are heartbreaking for both men and women; still men and women dump partners at times. There can be reasons or no reasons at all. Whatever it is, very fewer relationships are found to be ever sustaining and ever progressing. Women, many times, drop the relationships with obvious reasons. They are sensitive to the maximum and at the same time bold to the extreme.
As they do not forget trivial mistakes, never-forgivable actions can be ignored by them. The unpredictability of women makes it harder to analyze the most common reasons for them dumping the men. Each woman approaches the relationships in a very much subjective way, thus what makes a serious enough reason for a woman to dump her man may seem ignorable by another.

Trust related reasons

• Secondary affairs or multiple affairs of men constitute a reasonable cause for many women dumping their men. Cheating or breaking trust is unforgivable for many of them and when found that the man is dating with someone else too, they may avoid the man.
• Another trust related reason is telling lies to them or pretending to be good. Many men try to continue I relationship by telling lies one after another to maintain trust between the two and also to cover up his relationships with other people or mistakes.
• When men do not adhere to the promises or commitments, it is also considered as an act of distrust. Women do not generally tolerate a person who cannot be trusted.

Too much controlling

• When woman feels that the man is too much controlling or a control freak, they may possibly get away from the relationship. Some men are very much authoritarian and demand submissiveness from women. Such character is always hated as today; even women prefer self dignity and self sufficiency.
• Certain people do not let the woman to keep control of the money she earned. Financial understanding and sharing is good, but if the man asks her to hand over the earnings to him and get from him as and when needed, is a possible reason for women dumping men.
• Dominating over her personal life and sexuality is another reason for avoiding men by many women. Relationship for women is not slavery or being conquered by men by all means. When she feels that she is being used by the man for self satisfaction, she may dump him off.

Irresponsibility

• Irresponsible men are more likely to be dumped by women. Many men in relationships just leave all the responsibilities to the woman and roam around without caring of the household responsibilities or financial requirements. Such men are always dumped of by women.
• Responsibility just doesn't mean providing all the material supplies to home and supporting the partner financially. Being responsible on the health, emotions etc... are essential. When women feel they are not concerned or taken care of properly, they may get away from the relationship seeking a better partner.

Independency

Many women leave men when greater levels of independency are found in men. When they do not adhere to the promises and commitments it is considered independency. Women expect the partner to be worth depending in all the needs of life. When the partner feels that she cannot depend on the man for essential support when she needs it at various instances of life, she may dump the man and get into other relationships.

Unwanted rules and regulations

Many men establish unwanted set of rules and unnecessary regulations at home. This will make the women feeling as if in a prison, instead of in a relationship. When the freedom for expression and movement is questioned or regulated by the man, she may get frustrated with the relationship and think about leaving the person and get into another life. Any rules implemented at home must be taken by common preferences and also only after mutual discussion.

Secretes of a Happy Relationship

Relationships like marriage, romance, live together or any of similar kinds can be sustained with a happy note if some of the secret rules are followed. Relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.
Many of these, so called, rules are based on the life experience of many happy couple and also the observation of people. When two people get into relationships, many of them wish for lasting relationships. But pathetically, a good number of them go apart after a while, in search of new partners. Let us see the secrets that constitute long lasting relationships or ever remaining relationships.

Breakup and Divorce are not the Solution

When asked about the best possible way of resolving the issues in relationships or marriage, many people may comment that breakup or a divorce is the best possible method of putting an end to all the troubles in a relationships. It is the biggest mistake people commit.
The reason for increased divorce rate is analyzed as the mentality of people who even before getting into a relationship think divorce as means of solving possible issues in it. Divorce is never an option but it's the utmost decision to be taken in life only at an inevitable situation. Do not even think about a breakup or marriage whenever you confront with minor issues in relationships. Issues are just byproducts of the happiness experienced in the relationships.

No Perfect Relationships, but Perfect Situations

No one can be considered in a perfect relationship, how happy the couple is, as happiness in a relationship is just the happiness of the situations created by the partners. No relationship, as a whole, is destined to be jovial and satisfying. There can be moments of happiness and moments of struggles.
The couple who learns the secrets of balancing both happiness and struggles wins the life and enjoys the best possible relationship and life. When in tension or issues, many people may think that they are fated to fall in to wrong relationship, and at the same time ignore the possible chances of making each moments in life happy by understanding the partner a bit more and adjusting a bit more.

Never be Afraid or Make Him/Her Afraid

Another secret of happy relationship lies in being open and frank with the partner. Do not feel afraid to express you mind to the partner and never ever make him/her afraid of you to tell out the mind. When people communicate each other many of the issues can be melted down. An issue, how ignorable it is, when kept in mind for several days, can take forms of anger, frustration, dislike etc., and get expressed in the most undesirable manners. Let the communication between the partners be a frequent element and no one should hold the words when he/she really wants to talk.

Love Defined is Respect and Care

You can just tell that you love your partner but can never express the love as it is. There is no emotion like love, but it comes as a package which includes, respect, care, share, dedication, forgiveness etc., express the emotions whenever possible to make the other person feel the intensity of your love. Do not be a miser in loving the partner and let your love be unconditional. It is rightly said that love is defined as respect and care. When the partner feels that you do not care for him/her or do not give him/her the due respect, the person may think of an alternative to you.

Always Support Each Other

Never ever leave your partner unsupported. Whatever be the opinions and ideas, know that you are the only one he/she can lean for support. When both of you are alone, you can argue among yourself on points you disagree with the other one, but in public both of you have only one mind. Holding the hands, especially when he/she is sad or broken, is helpful to convey you care for the person. Once you have decided to live together, then no questions of separation may arise, even in the opinions.

Tips To Treat A woman On A Date

Women are hard to impress! Yes truly women are very hard to impress and satisfy. It is really an achievement if a guy can get the company of a pretty woman, when the social taboos are put aside. Every man strives for one and few attain the goal. Pathetically, many young guys lose the female company by jut remaining ignorant of the ways of treating them on the first date and impressing her most eloquently. When you are getting ready for the first date, keep in mind the basics of attracting the lady and impressing her all the way possible.

On time every time

Do not let her wait for you at the first date. Be on promised time and it is appreciable if you reach first and make her feeling royal by waiting for her. Have a simple but romantic gift for her. The gift doesn't mean a costly one, but a simple red rose will do the purpose. Welcome her most cordially by holding the hands and giving the flower.

When you meet for the first date, your first expression should be something that appreciates her or concerning her. Do not get into mistakes like talking about the weather the day or that she made you wait for few minutes.

Create the best possible mood between you

It is the mood that you create at the first meeting that is going to sustain throughout your relationship. Good words, pleasant smile etc., help making the perfect mood between the two. Be slow and attentive in talking with her. Do not hastily get into a lip kiss or hug.

Select a meeting place after enough searches. Let the place be romantic, calm and quite. If you prefer a busy restaurant or park your conversation may be disturbed by the noises and activities of the place. Let it be just you and the lady, nobody in-between.

If you are particular about the romantic environment, you can even go for a candle light dinner or such romantic activities. Do not allow her attention to divert into other things than you. Invite the attention by pleasing manners and promising behavior.

Be polite, compassionate and complimenting

Politeness is a quality most women appreciate. Even if you are not polite by nature, try not to be impolite in your talks, behavior and manners. Some guys get into fights with the hotel stewards or suppliers to just impress the lady by being bold and rough and also to exhibit the manly qualities. This will do harm than being advantageous.

Being compassionate attracts a good number of women. Many women conceive the quality of compassion as the essential quality of a good man. When you act compassionately, the lady may feel like pleased to be your friend and partner.Lavish compliments are influencing on women. But when you compliment for trivial elements, be cautious to not make it a mockery and she should never feel the actions as a deliberate one. Be spontaneous when you shower your compliments on her.

Be a good talker as well as a listener

Keep silence away from you while meeting on a first date. Know that you are passing through very precious and never again moments. Talk enough and just enough. Keep away the silent moments and find one or other topics to go on chatting.Being a listener is equally important to talk. You need to encourage her to talk to you and express her feelings about you. Also, it is not advisable to ask her on the very first date about her feelings on you.

Be self confident and mature enough

Do not start shivering at the sight of the lady.Be prepared and be confident throughout the meeting. Do not try to impress by acting what you are not really. Take away all the fears and worries from within and try to be maximum possible natural and spontaneous.

Maturity is an appreciated character, especially in romance and relationships. Act in mature ways and never give chances for the woman to feel that you are immature and unsuitable.

How grape diet help in weight loss

The grapefruit diet is apparently not a myth .That's what a new study by the Nutrition and Metabolic Research Center at Scripps Clinic has confirmed. Researchers there found that the simple act of adding grapefruit and grapefruit juice to one's diet can result in weight loss.

The 12-week pilot study, led by Dr. Ken Fujioka, monitored weight and metabolic factors, such as insulin secretion, of the 100 men and women who participated in the Scripps Clinic 'Grapefruit Diet'
study.

On average, participants who ate half a grapefruit with each meal lost 3.6 pounds, while those who drank a serving of grapefruit juice three times a day lost 3.3 pounds. However, many patients in the study lost more than 10 pounds. 'For years people have talked about the grapefruit diet, and some even swear by it, but now, we have data that grapefruit helps weight loss,' said 

Dr. Fujioka, principal researcher at the Nutrition and Metabolic Research Center at Scripps Clinic. 'Our study participants maintained their daily
eating habits and slightly enhanced their exercise routine; the only dietary change was the intake of
Florida grapefruit and grapefruit juice.'

Additionally, the research indicates a physiological link between grapefruit and insulin, as it relates to weight management. The researchers speculate that the chemical properties of grapefruit reduce insulin levels and encourage weight loss. The importance of this link lies with the hormone's weight management function. While not its primary function, insulin assists with the regulation of fat metabolism. Therefore, the smaller the insulin spike after a meal, the more efficiently the body processes food for use as energy and the less it's stored as fat in the body. Grapefruit may possess unique chemical properties that reduce insulin levels which promotes weight loss. Obesity continues to plague the American public and the health system.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 64 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight or obese. 

Overweight or obese people stand a greater likelihood of developing life-altering and/or life-threatening illnesses such as heart disease , cancer , diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, arthritis , liver problems, and many others. 'Our study shows grapefruit can play a vital role in overall health and wellness, and in battling America's ever-growing obesity epidemic,' stated Dr. Fujioka. 'Whether it's the properties of grapefruit or its ability to satiate appetites, grapefruit appeared to help with weight loss and decreased insulin levels Leading to better health. It's good the 'Grapefruit Diet' never lost its popularity among the public.'

The study linking grapefruit and grapefruit juice consumption to weight loss continues to broaden
the health benefits associated with this citrus product. If you have any other suggestions or complains  concerning this post or any that bothers you, please drop it on the comment box to help us serve you better...

25 Ways to Tell Your Spouse ‘I Love You’ on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is the occasion when you can experience love and show love too.  With a little help from our friends, here are 25 creative ways to tell your spouse, “I love you.”

1. On small pieces of paper, write down every kind of kiss that you can think of (examples: passionate, on the cheek, etc.). Then fill an inexpensive red felt bag with your “kisses” and give it to your spouse. Ask your spouse to pull several pieces of paper from the felt bag, and then give your sweetheart whatever kind of kiss is described.

2. Make a book about why you love your spouse and why you are thankful for him/her.  The woman who sent this idea wrote, “He loved it! Said it was the best gift he has ever gotten.  And it helped me to focus on the things I love about my husband and not his shortcomings.”

3. Take your sweetie on a scavenger hunt. Ask him/her to answer riddles to find the clues to items that you placed somewhere around town. The last item should give instructions that lead to your Valentine’s Day activities.

4. After enjoying a candlelight dinner for two at home, give your spouse a massage and watch a romantic movie. The woman who suggested this wrote, “Last Valentine’s Day when I got home from work, my husband … had our bedroom set up with a candlelit table for two. He is NOT a cook but he made an awesome meal … grilled steak, sautéed shrimp in lemon, garlic, and butter, a vegetable, and [he] bought a chocolate fountain that was flowing—surrounded by fresh fruit for dipping. After dinner he led me over to his homemade massage table. … We ended our special night with a romantic movie.

5. Surprise your spouse with a special getaway together. The man who suggested this made reservations at a bed and breakfast, arranged for childcare, asked for time off from work for himself and his wife, and packed their bags. When he asked his wife to go to lunch on Valentine’s Day she was in for a wonderful surprise. “The little bit of effort I put into that weekend paid off huge for weeks to come.”

6.  Give your wife a dozen roses. On each stem attach a note for a future date—to do something that she would enjoy (example: go to the symphony).

7. If possible, go on a date with your spouse to a restaurant that you enjoyed when you first met. After you order your meal, take some time to write down favorite memories from the past year. Then share your lists.
8. Have 11 roses delivered to your wife, and then give her a 12th yourself while reading her a love poem.

9. Fill a large box with helium balloons and special gifts for Valentine’s Day. The woman who suggested this said that her gifts included “new sleep shorts for him and a new nightgown for me, a box of chocolate-covered strawberries and red napkins … some new candles, and a romantic CD. He got the hint. And loved the weekend.”

10. Create an intimate Valentine’s Day evening at home, without the children. The woman who suggested this idea said that she and her husband “enjoyed planning the menu, shopping for the meal, and ultimately preparing the meal together. Cooking to soft, romantic music can really be a turn on! While dining, the same soft, romantic music is a wonderful mood-setter. Dinner was followed by just the two of us having the whole dance floor, our den, to ourselves. I won’t say what all this led to, but it was a truly romantic night that would not have happened at the local restaurant!”

11. Order food from a take-out restaurant and have a picnic for all the Valentines in your family on your living room floor.  The person who suggested this said, “The kids look forward to this every year. When we tried to change it, they wouldn’t allow it … it has become a tradition. The kids see the value of family and a loving marriage.”
12. Privacy and weather permitting, watch a romantic movie on your deck or patio.

13. If you are separated across the miles, send a care package filled with things that are red.

14. Make a meal with symbols of love. Examples: Write “I love you” with string beans, make a tart in the shape of a heart …

15. Hide little heart candies in your spouse’s shoes, coat, car, etc.  The woman who suggested this said that she’s been doing this for decades. “Now a couple of the grandkids help me with delight.”

16. Wives, show up at your husband’s office before lunch. Call him from the parking lot and tell him you are going to take him for a lunch rendezvous and that you will be waiting for him whenever he can take a break. Wear a nice outfit and tell him you have something sexy on underneath for when he gets home. Take him to a nice place for lunch and back to the office. Give him some great kisses telling him how glad you are to be married to him, and tell him you will be waiting for him when he gets home.

17. Fill a jar with Valentine candy and notes for your spouse. Examples of notes are: Good for a backrub, 10 kisses, etc. Notes could also express your love and respect: “I am so glad that God blessed my life with such a great husband like you.” Individually roll each note and tie it with a ribbon.

18. Surprise your spouse by taking a vacation day from work and enjoy Valentine’s Day at home. Have a relaxing morning together on the porch, deck, or patio. Then go to a favorite restaurant for lunch.  The man who suggested this idea had also reserved a spa treatment and tanning session for his wife. “While she was doing that,” he says, “I went home and made her a special dinner.”

19. Write a poem for your spouse and frame it.

20. On individual note cards, write why you love your spouse. Insert these cards in a small photo album.  The woman who suggested this idea began her album with a honeymoon picture and introductory note card, and ended it with a love note.

21.  Surprise your husband when he comes home from work. Place a welcome sign on the kitchen table and leave a trail of red foil-wrapped Hershey kisses to your bedroom.

22. With roses in hand and permission from your wife’s boss, go to her workplace and read a love poem to her. The woman who shared this idea said, “I am a teacher in an inner city school. Last year my husband dressed in my favorite suit and tie, came to my school with roses in hand.  He got permission and assistance from the office staff to open the speaker system into my classroom and proceeded to read a long and beautiful love poem to me.  He then came to my classroom and presented me with the bouquet of roses which I received while wiping my tears of joy and love for this wonderful man whom I have been married to for just under 30 years.”

23. Make a special “14 Reasons I Love You” Valentine’s Day breakfast for your sweetheart. On his/her plate, leave a letter or card listing 14 reasons that you love your spouse.

24.  If possible, send a card postmarked in a town that has a romantic name such as Loveland, Colorado; Valentine, Texas; or Romance, Arkansas.

25. After your spouse goes to bed, tape notes to his car’s steering wheel with reasons that you love him, or decorate the bathroom mirror with lipstick kisses or Valentine’s window clings.

Have fun TODAY, and remember: Love is not meant to be given and received on just Valentine’s Day. Instead, it’s to be practiced every single day of the entire year.

Common Mistakes Couples Make in a Relationship

Being in a committed relationship comes with its share of highs and lows. Even in a marriage, everything begins on a happy note but as the couple prepares for a new life, they are weighed down by societal pressures and not to mention, personal differences. Of course, there are no perfect relationships.

Our happiness in life doesn't depend entirely on having a close relationship, but it is definitely enhanced by having bonds that are both healthy and close. If it seems as though yours aren't working as well as you'd like them to, it's possible that with some minor adjustments you can get things back on track.

However, here are 10 common mistakes couples make that you'd much rather avoid.

Losing Control

If you want to sustain the relationship further or for the lifetime, be in control of yourself. Many people lose control easily, especially with the life partner. Marriage or mutual agreement of getting into relationship is not a license to express as you feel it. Losing control is a sign of considering the partner less important or inferior. Frequent act of losing control in conversations or actions may irritate the partner and lessen the intensity of the romance between two.

Lack of Communication

Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind or each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other feelings one holds for the other. Many people get into ill communication with partners and as a result the relationship may become less intense. It is common that people complaining of lack of conversation between the couples.
Talking to each other boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. It is helpful to communicate what a person needs from the other and what is expected. Lack of communication or ill communication is equally destructive elements in a relationship. Your communication style should be one that gives enough respect to the listener.

No Overnight Arguments

Do not take your arguments to the next day and be always vigilant to put an end to the arguments before you go to bed. Many people get into unwanted arguments and continue with the same topic when they get up the next day. In a relationship, arguments should not be considered as a sign of dignity or status. Even if you feel that you are right and the other person is absolutely wrong, when the other person doesn't give up, you can be silent for the sake of peaceful living and happy relationship.

Denial of Sex

Sex is inevitable in relationships especially in marriage. Do not consider sex as your favor to the partner and never deny it as a resistance or protest to him/her. When a partner is denied with sex, he/she may feel hurt and may feel less interested in the relationship. Better you can solve all the issues by proper communication before you get into the bed and start anew with satisfying sexual activities. When somebody protests by denying the sex to him/her, the person may look for the sexual satisfaction in some other person and the relationship may suffer a breakup.

Lack of Romance and Commitment

Many relationships suffer from lack of romance and commitment. People in relationship should not hold back the expressions of romance to the other person. At no situations, romance is improper in marriage. In fact romance is the most obvious expression of affection and love in a relationship. Being committed to the partner is equally important to expressing romance. Unfaithful partners are the most common reason behind divorce and breakups. If you want the relationship to go proceed happily, then be committed to the partner and always maintain the trust with him/her.

Keeping Secrets From the Partner

Keeping secrets from the partner is a mistake many people commit in relationships. Secrets and unrevealed realms in life may make the partners feel poles apart and unattached. Never keep secrets from the partner and importantly, even if you keep secrets, you partner should not come to know that you keep secrets from him/her.
  
Fight your way out
 Fights are healthy for any relationship but how far you would go is the question. If you are trying to prove your point through constant outbursts, then you have had it. Remember it also affects your child’s upbringing in some way or the other.

Constantly questioning your relationship.

Do you sit around wondering whether you and your partner will still be together next week, next month, or next year? Are you afraid to jinx your relationship by doing or thinking the wrong thing? Do you take signs of preoccupation expressed by your partner as evidence of his or her disinterest in you? As I discussed above, it’s good to take your partner for granted somewhat. However, this is a slightly different twist on that point. Questioning your relationship means that you doubt it will last, and therefore may be less likely to feel comfortable about commitments you make about the future. If you’re always looking for a “Plan B,” your partner may sense this and the relationship's future demise could then become a likely prospect.

Not taking your partner seriously enough.

When you think about the important people and aspects to your life, what rank would you give your partner? Do your children come first? How about your work buddies or your job in general? It may be very logical and understandable to put your children first, for example, because depending on their age and stage in life, they need you. There are also different qualities to our romantic relationship compared to our relationships with children or other family members (parents, siblings, and so on). In reality, there’s no need to decide who’s more important. By playing this thought experiment, though, you can gain insight into where your partner fits into your overall life goals. If there’s a huge mental gap between your kids, job, friends, or other people and involvements, it’s likely your partner experiences this undervaluing. Again, looking toward those behavioral signs, if you’re at a social gathering, see if you drop your partner in favor of others, leaving at the end of the evening without having exchanged more than a word or two. Even if your partner doesn’t admit to feeling snubbed, this lack of attentiveness will be experienced as rejection and over time, detract from your partner’s feelings toward you.

Giving up on your partner.
Everyone goes through challenges, whether it’s losing a job, suffering from health problems, or dealing with an addiction. It’s at those difficult times that your partner needs your good cheer and support, but it’s also at those times when you may be feeling the most stressed. Without having to cover up your concern and feign a Pollyana-ish optimism, it’s more important than ever at those times that you hang in there and allow your partner to feel that he or she will come out of this trying time. Your confidence and support not only will can help ease your partner’s pain, but may be just what’s needed to help your partner summon up the resources to overcome the challenge.

There are many factors that go into building long-term relationships to ensure that they remain long-term. Avoiding these common 10 traps are a great way to start keeping yours healthy for years into the future.

How to Get Rid of Dark Spots From The Skin

I have being receiving mails from some fans that are having issues with dark spot on their body, so i decided to write a free article on the solution to this problem. This way, all the people facing this problem would benefit from it.

 Dark patches (such as age or brown spots, freckles, etc.) are caused by excess production of melanin in the skin. Although many cosmetic treatments are available, but unless it is an extreme case it would be advisable to go for equally effective home remedies. I want to show you some  natural home remedies that can safely and easily lighten and eliminate the dark patches. 

1. Lemon Juice
Lemon juice is the best natural bleaching agent. It is full of vitamin C, which is an antioxidant and thus, it helps to lighten skin tone. Since one of the reasons of dark skin patches is lack of vitamin C and B12, lemon juice is the most effective treatment for this. Using a cotton ball, apply some lemon juice on the effective area or your whole face. Keep it on for about 20-30 minutes before washing it off with water. Important point to note here is to avoid sun exposure while you have applied lemon juice, and do not keep it on for too long.

2. Raw Milk
We all have heard our grandmothers telling us how using raw milk on the face gives a fair complexion. Well that is true, as the lactic acid present in the milk lightens the skin colour. Apply it overnight on the effective area and wash it with warm water in the morning. For those suffering from acne or oily skin tone can also use buttermilk (chacha) with some lemon juice for the same purpose. Raw milk can also be used as a substitute to water while making homemade face packs or even for washing your face daily.

3. Aloe Vera gel
Using Aloe Vera everyday can also work wonders for your skin. Make a small cut in an aloe Vera leaf and scrape out its gel. Apply it on the affected area. Leave it for 30 minutes before washing. Aloe Vera gel is also available in the market in case you cannot get your hands on the plant, and it is equally efficient. You can drink two tablespoon of Aloe Vera juice on an empty stomach to enjoy a healthy body.

3. Yogurt
Yogurt is also equally efficient in removal of dark patches from the skin. Apply and leave yogurt on the patch for at least 20-30 minutes. After that, wash it off with cold water. You can also make a pack of yogurt (1tbsp), oatmeal (2tbsp) and lemon juice (1tsp) and apply it for half an hour. Another great pack can be made by mixing yogurt with honey and rose water.

4. Use red onion. The acid in onions has natural skin-lightening properties, which can help fight dark spots.Extract the juice from the onion by either squeezing it or putting it in the blender. Use a cotton ball to dab the juice onto your dark spots and leave it on for about 10 minutes before rinsing. Repeat this treatment daily.

5.Use garlic. Cut a fresh garlic clove in half and rub it onto your dark spots. Alternatively, blend the garlic in a food processor to create a paste and use a cotton swab to dab it onto your skin. Leave the garlic on for 30 minutes to an hour and then rinse.

Part 2 of 2: Treatment Options

 Try a skin-lightening cream. There are prescription dark spot treatments on the market that contain a skin-lightening agent called hydroquinone.With continued use, these types of lotions can fade existing dark spots and create a more even skin tone.

• The bleaching agent in these kinds of creams may cause temporary itching, burning, redness, and other discomfort.
• Non-prescription lotions are also available that claim to treat dark spots. Most major cosmetic companies like Clinique, Estée Lauder, Maybelline, Proactive, and Garnier carry such products.
• Avoid skin-lightening creams that contain mercury, as this chemical can be toxic in humans.

 I would release the list of creams that can clear dark spots from the skin in my next article, so keep an eye on your favourite blog.

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5 Tips To Help You Last Long In Bed!

I have being receiving many mails on this topic, so i decided to put up an article for all of you to benefit from it.

How can a man last longer?
What is the role of the woman in getting her satisfied?

In order to take care of these questions, I’ll be writing on these topics in the coming days. But first let’s talk on the issue of lasting longer in bed.

Today, I’m going to give you 5 tips out of the plenty tips available to help a man maximize his erection period or last beyond 5 minutes during sexual intercourse.

  Use these tips to your advantage and you will be able to last relatively long in the bed and kill the anxiety of short sexual experience.

Here are the 5 ways you can last longer in bed.

1. Don’t Think About Your Orgasm
What is the most sensitive sex organ in the human body?
It may not be what you think, because it is not any of the following:

• The Penis
• The Breast
• The Vagina
• The Anus
• The Clitoris

Your most sensitive sex organ is the Brain or more figuratively, the Mind. Research studies have shown that the mind has the highest sensitivity to sex. Because it is based on what the eyes see, that triggers sexual emotions in these other sexual areas of the body. The first message both to a man and woman is received by the brain before other bodily members follow suit.
So, when you are making love, forget the thought of sex. Start to thinking about other less arousing moments with her. You may think about the last joke that made you laugh with her or any other positive thoughts. This has the effect of spreading and diffusing your pleasure points throughout the body, thus keeping your mind off ejaculation and making you last longer when you thrust slowly.

2. Sex Exercises
There’s a sex exercise called Kegel exercise. This is an exercise that men who have problems lasting longer do to help them control the rate of ejaculation. It is based on training the penile muscles to contract when the feeling of urine or semen comes on.
Here is how it works: For instance, when you are urinating, you can actually learn how to cut off your urine with your muscles before you are through urinating. It can be painful for a man initially, but with time and consistent effort, it will become second nature to you and you will be able to stop ejaculation and slow doing when you feel it.

3. Don’t Thrust So Fast
During intercourse, do not hurry into a forceful thrusting, you need to be very slow as quick succession of thrusts can accelerate ejaculation. Instead you need to slowly focus on making small but shallow forward movements that penetrate the woman 2 inches deep. Around this area, the nerve endings in both the penis and vagina is highly sensitive and continuous stimulation will help the woman to reach an orgasm.

4. Ladies First – Always Be a Gentle Man
When you are making love with a woman, ensure that the woman reaches an orgasm first. This way, you will have a sustained erection long before you attempt penetrating and when you do finally, you can have a more intense orgasm at the same time with the woman.

5. Allow Your Woman To Lead
When last did you allow your woman to be on top instead of the other way round? Truth is the man on top or missionary style position excites the man so much that before he knows what is happening, he has ejaculated into the woman.
It is always better for the woman to be on top of the man while the man is lying down flat on his back. When this happens, the man experiences less stimulation on his penis as long as the woman is advised to go slowly and rhythmically.

In the next few days, I will be discussing more of the things a woman should do to help her man/husband to last longer as the women also have a role to play in this aspect.

In the mean time, keep your eyes peeled for my next article as I tackle What Ladies Needs To Do In Other To Be Satisfied While Having Sex.

For those men that is finding it difficult to satisfy their women, i have a solution for you. Get a copy of my Ejaculation Manual and solve all your problem. Its not compulsory you must have a big penis to satisfy your lady. What you need to know is the right technique, which i would show you in the manual.

SIDE NOTE: You are free to send in any questions you may have on sexual relationships and I will do my best to cover it in a future article. If you enjoyed this article, kindly use the button below to share with your friends.

Click Here To Access The Ejaculation Manual Page 

How To Keep The Fire Of Love In Your Marriage/Relationship Burning

Do you still remember the very first kiss you planted on the lips of your woman? – The woman you truly love?
What about before the first kiss, the difficulty you experienced in expressing your desire to be intimate with her?

Do you still remember that burning feeling you had, and how unhappy you are when you don’t see her for a long time?

What about the first time you FINALLY made love to her on your wedding day, the impatience to consummate your marriage that wedding night?
If you have been married for over a year, no doubt, those feelings may have started giving way.

For many Nigerian men who have married for several years, those beautiful memories may have faded away completely. But if your marriage still makes you happy, these are some of the most memorable events during your courtship and union.
For some other group of men, who suddenly discovers the true identity of their wives, they may be wondering why they got themselves married to this individual in the first place.
Many marriages today are having problems or simply growing stale because the initial love that was once enjoyed is no longer alive. This is because many couples are not making serious efforts to ignite the sparks of love in their marriages.

The truth is, there are still happy marriages today who have lasted beyond 25 years. If you ask these older couple the reason why they are still happily married you will be surprised that these successful marriages all have few things in common.
Things like the following factors are common denominators.
Love
Respect
Communication
Understanding
Tolerance

The above factors are deliberate actions taken by the couples to ensure a successful marriage.
There’s one thing that many troubled marriages are ignoring. They forget that successful or happy marriages do not happen by accident, they are deliberately planned.
If you are having problems keeping the love in your marriage alive, know that you are not alone. In fact there are hundreds of thousands of homes in Nigeria battling the same problem.

The good news is that you can still enjoy a lasting and very successful marriage if you make the effort.
Do you remember the questions I asked when I started this article?
Those questions bring to mind those things men do when they are still interested in a woman.
If you want the love in your marriage to keep burning, then you must device ways to bring back the youthful activities boyfriends do to their girlfriends before marriage.
What are those things? Well we are all men, we know them. But as a reminder here they are:

• Spending Time Together

Do you remember when you were dating, that one of the most important things to you as a man when it comes to your woman was spending time with her. No matter how busy you are, you still “create” time to make appointments for a date. Remember how spending 2 hours with her was just like 10 minutes?

In your present marriage, how often do you take your wife out to a nice restaurant, or a good hotel outside the home to sleep? Do you still hold hands in public while walking together?

• Woo Your Wife

There are many things women do not communicate to their husbands, that they need to feel loved. One of them is touching. You need to constantly give your wife a warm embrace, hug and kisses even after the 4th or 10th child. Touch your wife tenderly every day.
This reminds them that you still love them. Women love intimacy just as they love lovemaking. A woman is more receptive to your sexual advances if you regularly show affection to her in the way of embrace, holding hands etc.
Do no let your business or job interfere with your marriage. While at work, find 2 minutes to send your wife romantic text messages.

• Surprise Your Wife With Gifts

When buying gifts for your wife, make sure it is something she loves. By gift, I do not mean only physical items like shoes, bags and jewelries, these are also important if you can afford them. I mean buying edibles like “Suya”, roasted chicken, apples, chocolates, ice-creams, wine, snacks.
Get these things when you are coming home from work. Women and children love it. In fact, these actions keep your wife expecting you everyday and makes you a loving husband.

• Play Games together

What activity does your wife love? If she is the type that loves playing the Ludo game, chess, or just football, indulge her and play the game together. Go out more often to see friends together. Take a walk in the evenings or weekends with your wife.

• Give Your Wife a Satisfying Sex

One mistake that Nigerian men make is going to their wife only when they need sex. This on its own doesn’t help a marriage to bond. If you do the above very well, the chances of your wife saying no to you even when she is tired is reduced highly.
One thing that can make a woman to continue to love and enjoy her marriage is her husband’s ability to satisfy her and bring her to a glowing orgasm each time they make love.

SIDENOTE: I have released a book on how to satisfy your woman on bed, CLICK HERE  if you haven't gotten your copy.

• Let Your Wife Be Your Best Friend

If there is any unsafe place in the world, your marriage should be the only place you can get comfort in troubled times. When you make your wife your best friend, you consider her decisions in every major decisions you make in your life.
Discuss your finances, business growth, activities in the office, the girls you admire and even the temptations you faced in the office. Sometimes, a woman’s input in her husbands affairs turns out to be the best advice the man can get. I have seen this happen many times in my own marriage.
This doesn’t mean the wife makes decisions for you, the wife suggests, and it is your responsibility to take it or not and when you are not taking the advice from your wife, let her know your reasons.

• Let God Be In Your Marriage

I believe that religion also has a role to play in marriage. If you as the husband marries a God Fearing woman, this will help all the effort you put in making a successful marriage.
This will mean praying together, going to place of worship together and discussing how the lessons learned in the church or Mosque help in keeping your marriage.
Don’t forget that marriage is what you make of it. A happy marriage  doesn’t happen automatically. But if you work at it and put in sufficient effort, you will be blessed with the results.
Then, the fairy tale stories that usually ends with the slogan: “And they Lived Happily Ever After” can then be applied to your marriage for as long as you live.

I wish you all success in your marriages and relationships.

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Is Drinking Beer Healthy?

Beer is one drink I have grown up to have serious reservations against. I really do not know why this is so, because most of my friends are moderate drinker of this drink. I also noticed that my brothers don't like taking it.

Today, we are going to take a closer look at the consumption of beer, this work is void of my personal sentiments about the drinking of beer, it is information gleaned from a researched stand point on the effects of taking beer on your health.

Beer has been in existence nearly as long as man has been on this planet cultivating the land and has some of the very healthy ingredients found in crops.

For instance, beer has the following component barley, malt, yeast for brewing.
There are flavours that gives each type of beer a distinctive taste.

Is Taking Beer Really Healthy?
For moderate drinkers, taking beer can be a healthy option, say drinking a bottle of beer per day can result in the lowering of the risk of cardiovascular diseases such as a heart problem etc. Here are the healthy reasons why beer can be responsible for these preventions;

• Laboratory studies have discovered that beer contains components like Triglycerides that helps lower LDL cholesterol in mice.
• Beer contain a component called Folate which helps to reduce and lower blood sugar levels which otherwise results in cardiovascular illnesses.
• A study on moderate beer drinkers shows that taking a bottle of beer per day can be responsible for the bodies ability to increase blood clotting.
• Another research work also shows that patients who have cardiovascular problems lived longer on taking moderate amount of beer.
• Other research studies found the following improvements in moderate beer consumption; increased mental health for women, improvement in the density of the bone.

With all said, does it mean the consumption of beer should be increased? The answer is NO. Excess beer in your body affects your liver, heart and brain. The liver is the organ responsible for processing of alcohol in your body. When there is too much in your system, the liver will not be able to meet up with digestion and hence it quickly reaches your brain to cause conditions such as intoxication when it distorts the brain centers responsible for judgement, vision and speech.
The advantages of taking beer really has nothing to do with Alcohol, but because most beers contain much alcohol, it is usually safer to choose beers with lesser quantities of alcohol and take them in moderate quantities such as a beer per day.
Nutritional Information of Beer
The following data was culled from USDA National Nutrient database for a serving of beer which usually is about 355ml (A bottle of beer).

• Calories: 153
• Protein: 1.64 g
• Carbohydrates: 12.64 g
• Calcium: 14 mg
• Magnesium: 21 mg
• Phosphorus: 50 mg
• Potassium: 96 mg
• Sodium: 14 mg
• Zinc: 0.04 mg
• Thiamin: 0.018 mg
• Riboflavin: 0.089 mg
• Niacin: 1.826 mg
• Pantothenic Acid: 0.146 mg
• Vitamin B6: 0.164 mg

As you can see from the list above, beer is rich in the following components; Calcium, magnesium, Sodium, phosphorous, Niacin etc and all these nutrients are good for health.
Effects of Drinking More Than A Bottle Of Beer
The truth is, some people do not notice intoxication after taking 3 – 5 bottles. But that is not to say that it is okay, Scientific evidence has shown that while drinking a bottle of beer per day may improve your health, drinking too much will have a negative effect on your body.
Heavy drinking or being an Alcoholic for men is more than 35 bottles per week and 21 bottles of beer for women. Too much drinking of beer leads to cardiovascular or heart disease, damage to the liver, osteoporosis or Arthritis, pancreatic damage and deficiency to thiamin and mild cancer.
Those Who Shouldn’t Take Beer
Just like me, taking beer is not for everyone. Some decide not to drink because of a lot of reasons ranging from personal to religious. These people should not be criticized as all the healthy components of beer can be gleaned from consuming other healthy and natural foods available to us. while others reject beer because of the underlying categories they belong to.

• Expectant or Pregnant women – A little alcohol can damage the fetus.
• People suffering from drug additions or Alcoholics.
• Young people; In most countries of the world, the drinking age is 21.
• People with liver or heart disease.
• Diabetics.
• Anyone on prescription drugs such as Hypertensive or Hypotensive patient and other over the counter medications.

So you can see, while heavy drinking of beer can take a serious toll on your health, moderate drinking will do the opposite. If you are the type that easily gets drunk and can not stop when drinking, it’s better to avoid alcohol or beer altogether.
Even though, I do not personally take beer, not because I fall into any of the categories above, because I’m healthy, I advice that moderation should be the watch word for beer drinkers.

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Secrets Men Don’t Want Their Women To Know

1. He Only Pretends Not to Listen.
He heard what you said. He’s just not interested in hearing it at the moment. Don’t try to give your man instructions or talk about your feelings when he’s watching TV (especially sports), eating, reading, or has just come home from work. He will only be half listening. His mind is on other things like: will his team win, his day at work, how hungry he is, etc. He can only pay attention to one thing at a time. If he lets you think that he is giving you his full attention, and then you will want to talk to him at these inappropriate moments all the time. If he gives you a detailed response, you’ll just continue to talk. If he completely ignores you, you’ll get mad. If he pretends that he is listening, you will be content and walk away.

2. He Does Look at Other Women.
Not because he wants to cheat, but because men are visually stimulated. Getting mad at him for looking is just going to make him sneak a peek. Hey, it’s just a passing glance. It’s not like we don’t check guys out too!
3. He Needs Time Away From You.
Men need time to reflect, socialize and just get away from it all. Men like the time to regroup. It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be with us, it is just an escape to appreciate what they have at home. So lighten up, while he’s out of the house, take the kids out or get a babysitter and go something you enjoy.

4. He Doesn’t Feel Like Being Bothered Sometimes
You’ve probably asked him to do something several times, but yet he still doesn’t do it in a timely manner. In frustration, you do it yourself. What is he thinking, “Thank Goodness!” Men do things at their own pace. You can ask your man to take out the trash and 3 hours later, it’s still there. Technically, he still has time to take out the trash. In his mind, the trash isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and if you do it yourself, that just makes it better for him.

5. He Really Enjoys Gossip
If your man overhears you gossiping on the phone, he’ll probably shake his head in disapproval. However, if he talks about Joe and Margaret, his co workers who are having an affair, it’s not gossip. Actually men enjoy to gossip. They just have a different name for it “Commenting.”

6. Yes, He Was Thinking About Sex
Your man has a far away look in his eyes. He seems distant. He was thinking about sex. He can’t help it, he thinks about it several times a day. Wouldn’t you prefer that he thinks about it several times a day rather than having sex several times a day?

7. When His Voice Goes High, or He Answers a Question With the Same Question, He’s Thinking of a Lie.
If you ask your man, “What You’d Do Today?’ and he replies “What I’d Do Today?” he’s probably thinking of lie. It doesn’t mean that he did something inappropriate, just something you wouldn’t approve of. Maybe, he left work early to hang out with the guys. If he told you this, you’d be upset because you had a long day at work or at home with the kids. The problem is he was having too much fun to think about if you would ask him that question, so he didn’t plan a lie beforehand.

8. Nothing is Wrong, So Stop Asking Him
Admit it, you see your man sitting quietly and you naturally assume something is wrong or has happened. So you ask, “What’s wrong?” and he replies, “Nothing, I’m just thinking.” Well, this answer doesn’t satisfy you, so you ask again throughout the day, which leads to his frustration. Men reflect too! He was probably thinking about how he wants to change careers, if you are satisfied and happy with him, how he can make more money, how he doesn’t want to grow old and fat, or how he would really like to buy that sports car. Ask him once, and then leave it alone. If you really sense something is wrong, give him some time and talk to him when you both feel like talking.

9. Most Men are Conquerors and Most Women are Venters
You just told him about your horrible experience at work. You want him to comfort and console you; instead he gives you logical facts about how to solve the problem. You feel cheated. You wanted to share your feelings about the day and all he wanted to do was fix the problem. Men like to offer solutions. Most men are not concerned about being in touch with their feelings when there’s a conflict. You want to feel understood; he wants to make the problem go away. He can’t relate to how you are feeling, so he does what he knows best, helps you to plan a solution.

10. He Wants to Feel Successful.
A man needs to feel he has accomplished something in life, and often times that accomplishment is found in their jobs or careers. Men don’t like to feel conflicted between work and quality time with their families. To men, if they are working hard to earn money, this will improve the quality of their family’s life.

At What Age Should A Man Get Married?

Marriage is one event in a man’s life that changes his life forever. I remember when I got married and the changes that followed even though anticipated, weren’t easy for me to come to terms with.


Now the question is, In Nigerian how old should a man be before he ties the nuptial knot? Well it depends on a lot of factors.
For the Nigerian men from the Eastern part of the country, they marry between the ages of 30 – 35 years. For the northerners, they marry earlier say from 22 – 28 years. So beside cultural backgrounds, what other factors determines a man’s readiness to marriage?

I will discuss those factors, but before that, I’m writing based on my personal opinion and you are free to think otherwise and my opinion is just mine, it doesn’t make it right or wrong.
I feel while getting married reaching a certain age is necessary, age should not be the major determinant of marriage. Readiness for marriage should be the main reason for anyone to be the position of settling down with a woman.

What Do I Mean By Readiness?
Well, here are the areas a man should carefully consider to know whether he is
ready to handle marriage life successfully.

1. Your Career.
A man who is contemplating marriage should think deeply about his career, Is his career congruent to his marriage decisions, can it support the partner for a long time. For instance, if you are a sailor or a pilot or any of the career that allows too much mobility, can your partner tolerate having you stay away for say
2 – 3 months at a time? This should be sorted out before a man decides to settle down.

2. Religious Background
Even though we believe that true love for the woman we are interested in is a major determinant of marriage, the truth is, it is always better to marry someone that has the same religious views with us, it allows for a smoother union, unless the other partner is ready to make a religious switch, else there may be hitches in the marriage later on as children who are the product of the marriage may start taking sides on who to join when it comes to religion.

3. Are You Financially Stable?
Money problems is one of the leading causes of marital problems and divorce in most troubled marriages. So before deciding to marry, it is best to ensure that you have sufficient income that will take care of yourself and at least 2 other persons. Because when you get married finally, you will need to discuss with your wife your spending habits, budgeting, and saving for the future. If this is not considered, there may be problems.

4. Lifestyle Changes
Long before you get married, you will start to make some lifestyle changes and habits that will help you to have a successful marriage. Some of those changes include tolerating the habits of women and children, learning to start coming home early from work. Limiting your friendship with your pals, sticking to only one partner at a time and eating healthy to look healthy.

5. You Must Be More Than 21.
Of course this should be the first reason but I guess I allowed it to be one of the last because I feel it is an obvious option. Experience has shown that a 21 year old man reasons like an 18 year old girl, because a girl of 18 and boy of 18 do not reason on the same level. Best maturity age for a man to get married is between 28 – 35 as at this time the man has discovered himself and accomplished a lot.

6. Emotional And Mental Maturity
Women are one of the most difficult elements God has created. They are complex and sometimes behaves like children. As a man you need lots of patience, understanding and maturity to handle them. If you are not able to handle a woman’s feelings, you may end up hurting someone when provoked or insulted by your woman. Emotional and mental maturity comes with age and experience and that is why I give an ideal 28 – 35 years for a man to be before he contemplates marriage.

Of course, all the above requirements must be met before the thought of marriage start troubling a man. If you have met all these criteria, then there is nothing stopping you from getting married. All you need is start looking for a desirable mate that has all the wife qualities you need.
Once you get that lucky woman, just go right ahead and marry her, at the end of the day, you stand a better chance of having a happy and successful marriage if you marry the right woman.

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What To Do When Your Wife Is Disrespectful

There are two things in life that can make a man or break him.
The first is his choice of a wife. The second is his Job. Your choice in marriage can determine your happiness and how long you stand to live on earth.
Today we are going to focus on the difficulties that may arise at home when a man marries a wife that suddenly becomes disrespectful.


But first let’s talk about the prospect of living with a wife that is very respectful and deeply loves her husband.

If you have a woman you truly love and who does the same for you, your marriage becomes a bliss. You always look forward to going home to see your wife and child(ren).
And when you are going home, you get some gifts for your wife and the kids. As soon as you are home, your wife receives you with a warm embrace, plants a kiss on your lips and usher you to the bathroom to wash off the days’ ‘stickiness’. When you finish with your bath, a delicious meal is already waiting for you at the dinning table.
You finish consuming your Dinner with your wife and kid(s), you spent some time with your family watching TV and playing with them. Shortly, thereafter, you go to bed and your wife gives you a passionate and very intimate time in bed.
Feeling refreshed and full of life the next morning, you kiss your wife and kid(s) goodbye and go to work. It repeats itself every day.

And yes, there are certain times you may have a misunderstanding with your wife, but when it happens, it is resolved amicably and without a fight and without your kid(s) knowing you even have some problems.
Now why would you ALWAYS rush home from work everyday to meet your family? The answer is simple; Because your wife makes you happy.
This is a marriage many people are enjoying today.
However, what if you have a disrespectful wife who you find difficult to control, how do you handle her?
For instance, let’s say you are a young man married with a kid. Whenever you spend some time at home, you find out that your wife is always nagging, and quarrels with you over petty things. In fact she even insult you sometime and tries to dictate everything you do even with your own money. To worsen it, she doesn’t like your family and friends.
If you have a marriage like that or something similar, then it’s time to work seriously on the marriage.
I will never advise a divorce for any troubled marriage except on the ground of adultery. Hence the root cause of the problem must be identified so that it can be attacked headlong.
Here is my possible advice for such a problem with a disrespectful wife.

1. Try to get your wife to talk to you so you can list down all the complaints she has against you.
2. Find out if there are areas you have been failing as a husband.

On the first note, when you list down her complaints, do not make any of her complaints trivial, take them serious. Ask yourself, “Why would my wife be so angry and hurt by this issue?” Try to understand her reasons for behaving in a certain way and be open minded when you do so.
If she is the type that do not like your family and friends, try to find out from her what/why exactly she doesn’t feel happy seeing them. Could it be that she is retaliating to a treatment received from these people, you need to find out.

Sometimes, a woman’s behavior  in the area of the man’s family may be when she feels the family of the man is having more influence over her marriage than she is, and this can be attributed to the man when he starts taking and heeding the advice of his mother or any of his relative in the marriage.
As a man, you should understand that once you are married, your responsibility falls in your own family and you have to satisfy your wife. The needs of your relatives becomes secondary. That is why the Bible says that a man and wife are one – closer than the parents of the man and wife.
Secondly, find out if there are areas you have been inadvertently failing as a man. The best way to do this is by asking your wife. Create a friendly atmosphere to allow your wife discuss the issue no matter how embarrassing it may be, let her say her mind.

I guess the secret to having a successful marriage is frequent communication, bringing every nuances and misunderstanding to the marriage table everyday and resolving them without wasting time.
Truth is, a woman’s emotion is difficult, but if you understand them, you will have a wonderful marriage. That is why a friend of mine describes a W.I.F.E as meaning (Why Isn’t Forever Easy). Marriage can be a haven of joy and peace, but there are other factors that could contribute to a healthy relationship between a man and his wife. Here they are:
Same religion
Having the same budget
Congruent goals and plans
Creating time for relaxation and vacations
Making out time to spend with each other weekly.

If you are married, using the tips above will help you to have a measure of success in your marriage.

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Smoking – How Does It Affect Your Life Span?

Cigarette is one of the herbs young and old people smoke everyday and unfortunately while many of the smokers clearly know that this habit is dangerous to health they continue to smoke not withstanding.

Why is this?
It’s because smoking is chronically addictive. Now here’s a fact. Do you know that “on the average, each cigarette you smoke, shortens
your life by 11 minutes” That is a cold hard fact.

I had a friend who smoked.Despite the fact that we talked to him severally about the consequences, he always argued that everyone will die someday. After several unsuccessful attempts at quitting smoking he finally stopped trying.

One day, he suffered a heart attack while working on one of the construction sites that he was overseeing. Why? Because smoking has caused him to have a diseased heart.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the major countries of the world today, and the leading cause of death among smokers. And, on a global level, researchers report that there were 1,690,000 premature deaths from cardiovascular disease among smokers in the year 2000. In contrast, there were approximately 850,000 lung cancer deaths during the same year, and 118,000 COPD deaths from smoking in 2001, worldwide.

Does the statistic above scare you?
Now let’s take a closer look at how smoking a cigarette damages health.
A stick of cigarette have over 400 chemical compounds that are toxic. When a cigarette is lighted, it burns at 700 degrees centegrade at the tip, and 60 degrees around the center. The heat produced is broken down to produce the toxins mentioned above.
When you smoke a puff of cigarette, you inhale the following components.
Tar: This is an element that causes cancer of the lungs.
Nicotine: This element make smokers addictive to cigarettes and also helps in the increase of bad cholesterol level in the body.
Carbon Monoxide: This is a gas that is very dangerous to health and is also the same gas released from the exhaust pipes of automobiles, but this time, smokers take in this dangerous gas into their body and thus limit the oxygen flow in their system.

Other Toxic gases produced during combustion of cigarette causes a condition called Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder (COPD).
For every cigarette taken, you shorten your life consequently by 11 minutes.
Now let’s do a little mathematics. If you smoke a packet of cigarette every day (20 sticks per pack),
that means you will lose 3 hours 40 minutes of your life every day.
In one week, you will loose = 1 day, 1 Hour and 40 minutes.
In one month, you will lose = Approximately 5 days.
In One Year, you will lose = Approximately 2 months of your life.
So if you have been smoking for 6 years, that means you will smoke away 1 full year of your life.

But once you get to 3 – 6 years of smoking, your heart would have suffered several diseases resulting from smoking that it becomes so weak to take you for a long time.  And from that point onwards, the above calculations doesn’t apply, meaning you can die any moment you suffer a heart failure.

Now let’s look at the other diseases that smoking induces in the body.

1. Cardiovascular disease
This has been mentioned already as this is disease caused to the heart as a result of excessive smoking. It is the number one cause of death for smokers.

How does this disease develop?
The deposits of fats and bad cholesterol on the arteries happen over many years and this causes the narrowing of the arteries and hence making the passage of oxygen and blood restricted, causing more work to be done by the heart. Depending on the nature of the narrowing, it can be blocked completely causing oxygen and blood to be cut off from the brain and other parts.
In the cases where it is not blocked, but so narrow, blood clots are formed.
Smoking helps to accelerate this process as it causes the production of bad cholesterol which causes this toxic deposits on the artery to build up fast.

2. Cancer
People who smoke have a higher incident of cancer than any other group of people or non smokers. This is especially true of lung cancer disease. Other cancers that can be caused due to smoking are:
Mouth Cancer
Bladder cancer
Oesophagus Cancer
Kidneys Cancer
Pancreas Cancer
cervical cancer

3. COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease)
This is a term used to refer to ill-health conditions that makes breathing difficult usually because of the blockage of airflow caused by smoking everyday. This condition happens when the air sacs in the lung has been damaged because of toxic gases.
COPD results to to ill-health conditions like breathlessness, excessive coughing with too much mucus that lasts for over 3 months. This condition happen to smokers in the age brackets of 35- 45 years.

Below is a list of other diseases that are a By-Product of smoking.
High Blood Pressure
Asthma
Ulcer
Bad Breath
Erectile Dysfunction

So looking at it from every angle, there is no advantage to smoking. If are addicted to smoking, do all you can to stop the habit as you have a good chance of a long life when you stop. In a future article on this blog, I will write on steps needed to quit smoking.

Don’t ever think it’s too late for you to quit smoking, and please…don’t waste any more of your life on cigarettes. Smoking offers you absolutely nothing of value.

Take back your life. You deserve the freedom and long-lasting benefits that smoking cessation brings.

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