FOODS AND THINGS THAT CAN HURT THE HUMAN LIFE

A frozen marg or two (or three), a gooey
grilled cheese, a gratuitous hookup with your
dumb-as-bricks neighbor who has a Gos-tastic
bod: While you know these things aren't
exactly good for you, they're massively
enjoyable as an occasional indulgence. But
what's really gets our panties in a twist? When
stuff you've been led your whole life to
believe were super healthy turn out to be
fucking with you in one way or another. Check
out the six biggest culprits here.

Vitamins
Just shoot us now, why don't you. Vitamins,
yes vitamins of all things, can destroy your
health: A and E in particular have been linked
in numerous studies to increased mortality
(from cancer, heart failure, etc.). The reason?
Their high levels of antioxidants—which, WTF,
have always been hailed as the holy grail of
health—weakens your immune system .

Yoga
Torn tendons and cartilage. Destroyed hips.
Arthritis. Retinal tears! Back and neck
trauma! Blood clots !! Permanent nerve
injury!!! Brain damage!!! STROKE!!! Turns out
all that downward-dogging might be more of
an extreme sport than a Zen-inducing soul
massage . Thanks to all that exaggerated
bending and contorting, the number of yoga-
related emergency room admissions more
than doubled from 2001 to 2002. We're not
saying stop namaste-ing, but tread carefully...

Neti Pot
Touted by the likes of Oprah, Dr. Oz, and
Molly Sims, this holistic nasal cleanser seems
like a quaint, harmless home remedy to clear
up allergies , colds, and congestion. Until,
that is, it turns around and gives you a
freaking deadly brain infection! Several people
in Louisiana died after flushing out their nose
using tap water containing a fatal amoeba.
(Curse you, Naegleria fowleri!) According to
the FDA, use bottled water or boil H2O and
let it cool before a nasal douche—or, what
the hell, just pass the Claritin.

Brown Rice
Carbs are bad, wheat makes you fat, potatoes
are empty calories, etc. But the one starch we
still have on our side is brown rice, right? …
Right? Not so much. A Consumer Reports
investigation tested hundreds of different
brands of rice and discovered measurable
amounts of arsenic in all of them. Rice eaters
had arsenic levels that were 44 percent
greater than people who don't get their rice
on—and what's more, the " good for you "
brown kind had significantly higher levels of
the toxin than the white variety. So, make
quinoa your new BFF, okay?

Grilled Food
It's BBQ season—which supposedly makes
healthy eating faster and easier than ever. You
can just throw sliced veggies, a chicken
breast, even fruit on the grill, and voila! Uh,
yeah, about that… Hate to break it to you, but
charred food can, surprise surprise, give
you cancer . You know those blackened bits?
They indicate the presence of the carcinogen
HCA, which can damage your DNA and
kickstart the big C. You don't have to ban
barbecue outright, but minimize HCA by
cooking at lower temps, removing the skin
from chicken or salmon, and using smaller
pieces of meat so it'll be done faster.

Spray-on Sunscreen
Don't get us wrong—we worship sunscreen
for its amazing ability to stave off skin
cancer …but not all types are created equal.
Sunscreen sprays are crazy popular (makes
sense: they're convenient and easy to apply,
they coat your skin evenly), but they might
not be the safest bet. The FDA is currently
investigating some potentially dangerous side-
effects of spritzing on your SPF. There's a
concern that not enough of it actually gets on
your skin, and that you'll inhale the chemical-
filled product as you mist it on—and now we
can't even use a neti pot to get that crap out.
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